You Can’t Collaborate With a Negotiator
In every relationship—personal or professional—we eventually face friction. And when we do, we tend to show up as either collaborators or negotiators. Collaborators seek connection, alignment, and shared progress. They approach challenges with curiosity and trust, believing that together we can find a solution. Negotiators, on the other hand, see disagreement as a contest. They focus on what they might lose, not what they could build. Their instinct is to protect, to withhold, to win.
The problem? You can’t collaborate with a negotiator. No matter how open, generous, or thoughtful you are, collaboration requires mutual trust—and that trust quickly unravels when one side is only playing to gain the upper hand. I have seen this in romantic relationships, in friendships, and inside organizations. It erodes culture from within. Because when every conversation becomes a transaction, progress dies. Innovation disappears. People stop showing up with their full selves. If we want stronger relationships, better teamwork, and higher-performing cultures, we need to stop negotiating and start collaborating.
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