That’s Not What I Meant
This week’s This Week in Culture is about one of the toughest lessons in leadership: you are not judged by your intention, you are judged by the outcome. A well-meaning comment, a lighthearted joke, or even an act meant to inspire can create the opposite effect if it leaves people feeling dismissed or undervalued. And once a negative belief takes hold, it grows roots and colors how people interpret everything else you do.
I break down the four types of experiences leaders create—from clear and powerful to misunderstood and damaging—and show why most moments fall into the “ambiguous” or “harmful” category. The key is not just creating experiences but helping people interpret them. That means naming what is happening, framing your intention, and reinforcing it through consistent behavior. Culture isn’t built on what you meant to do. It’s built on what people actually experience.
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